Yesterday I had a message from a family member who was in distress; a close friend, who we also knew, had committed suicide by hanging. This is the second close friend to be lost in 36 months. The first, due to an overdose of drugs but at the moment it is unclear what the true motivation was.
My family member took the first death very badly as their friendship had been strong and the circumstances of the overdose were very sad. I don’t want to write more for fear of identifying anyone.
When I was a part of someone else’s suicide I did a lot of sole searching as to why that person had that as the only option. Had they sort help? Why had it not worked? Who was in their life and did they know? Had they been rebuked? Who had they left behind? Why could they not speak to anyone? I could continue but I have no greater insight.
Some people think it is a selfish act on the part of the victim, having been through PTSD I think not. Anxiety always lived just under surface of my thoughts in a shady place, sometimes in my consciousness but mostly not. When a trigger event happened expressive anxiety kicked in and rational thought, for me anyway, just did not exist. My thoughts would take place at rocket speed and just be bounced around in my mind introducing stray thoughts into the balance and there was no external stimulus could penetrate my gruff exterior. Lasting seconds only, but feeling much longer until rationality, followed by remorse and conciliation happened.
For some, suicide is a logical solution to a problem where they see no end to negative external stimulus.