Initially the Doctor described two options Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). A third option popped-up after speaking to a non-medical person whoes values I trust: Hypnotheropy.
The outcome I want from any one of them is the same: Help me understand why I am feeling like this and then to return me to ‘my normal’. This I acknowledge is difficult as I can’t turn back the clocks to un-live what happened, my memories are naturally contaminated with the elapse of time and consistent uncertianty about what is happening, and the real conundrum: I might not like what I was.
My thought process says to me that I had failed to help people in both accidents. It is that simple. I must not let go of the people who I had failed, otherwise I am letting them down again, letting their familes down. Forgetting them is a cheats way of finding mental wellbeing, and for last 25 odd years since the train crash I had lived with that and thought, it worked then, it will work now – I can cope, I am man. But I had not appreciated I would be up against the most complex piece of apparatus we know of in our current universe – our brain; from which memories are never extinguished but lurk to upset and interfer when a magical trigger is pressed. It builds links to existing memories that we do not know existed and recompliles new meanings at the drop of a hat but it does not always tell you it has done so. Its a crafty little thing!
On research and to the layman the methodology is different and each has a preferred type of client. I considered that any of them would be a good.