just me and cross

Home » MY MENTAL HEALTH » While at Work and play

While at Work and play

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I enjoy my work greatly. This is the third major change in the tool set engineering had for me to use. I went from pencil, pen and ink to Computer Aided Drafting (CAD) and now 3D modelling. This last stage is far far bigger than just modelling. It involves the integration of external data into a homogenous, seem less data set.

While there are other organisations who are both further advanced with the technical aspects of the work and the ethos behind there working practice I have independently kept pace with development, so it is with a little trepidation I consider myself to be knowledgeable – not complete but knowledgeable.

I have had great support from my immediate line manager but in essence that is where it stopped.

It appears to me that I am not trusted, not valued and considered to have no skills suitable for the work. I have hit brick walls everywhere I turn and with the new regime in place who are even less receptive I have gone into a mental meltdown through trying to fight my corner for the company.

The meltdown is me getting very agitated, cross, verbally aggressive in arguments and dismissive of others. This was happening more regularly and while those who believed my path forward was valid to my betters considered I was an impediment to progress. I have already described the situations and  the ways I feel I have been treated but not the frustration and internal termile it caused me.

Adding to this incendiary device that was me were a good number of life’s rich trip-you-ups.


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