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I could not justify not telling them about both situations … my performance is poor.
I have only told my line manager, a project specific manager and two very good young chaps who report to me about my plight.
As my exploratory operation is on Wednesday, and it could be good or bad I felt they should know.
My involvement with the project has dwindled and in effect I have withered on the vine. I should have challenged a lot more events that have happened, but knew I could not resolve them in a timely manner to keep things on side. Starting a challenge needs to be managed or the vacuum it leaves is more disastrous than not challenging: others feel they have succeeded over you.
The only time I am really happy is when I am with him playing. Other than that I want to withdraw from life.
I have a lot on my mind at the moment is an understatement. Slowly I am having to open up to a wide audience and explain the situation I am in and I am getting more supportive feelings from friends than I thought.
It is not necessarily from the words but from their hidden understanding they seem to exude: their eyes, their body posture, the fact they don’t know what to say and therefore don’t blurt things out just for the sake of it. Family feel obliged to say things.
I don’t want to be told it’s alright, it will not turnout that bad, or Mr Smith had that and he is ok. I don’t care; what is common between us I have no idea.
I am borrowed time!
My Cancer may or may not be a major problem. Loosing my grandson is more life changing to me, from which there is no recovery.
I want to go back to February 2019 and put things right. Even that is not really early enough, but … I now want to be alone in a crowd and not bothered by anyone.
A full circle has been made … and not before time …
Firstly, I have managed to move groups so I am away from the irrational people. That was the good news, the bad news is my new location is only 3m away from where I sat and I can still hear the machinations of the day.
The full circle is having frog marched people into issuing incorrect information while having the expectation of being able pull the wool over people’s eyes simply so deadline were hit, failed. They were noticed ha f ha.
So the new regime is; information can only be issued if it is correct. Well, what a surprise! Shock horror, correct information, whatever next! That is what all industries, hmm! apart from banking, are expected to do by default.
There is a nuance here that should be explained. There is a difference between being substantially correct and not misleading to being incorrect through lack of design experience and/or resources being used to solve a problem or not as the case may be. The former is controllable and will reflect the design stage at which the information is concerned. The later catches people out.