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At Christmas time a little coercive force was applied to ensure our son was always in contact with the mother of their children while they were with him and away for a break with us. Nothing wrong with that. The preliminary incommunicado was due to the constant abuse he was receiving from his partner and his phone was turned off.
Last weekend the mother went away with her father from Friday until Sunday, which became Monday. An accident happened with one of the children and immediate contact was necessary. Her phone was uncontactable. (Could be off, could be no power.)
It took contact, via FB, to get a message delivered to her. A friend collected the elder child from the hospital to allow our son to concentrate on the younger child.
Her mum managed visit on Monday and another on Tuesday just as the child was being formally discharged in the afternoon.
Strange, but motherhood means different things to different people! Yes, pots calling black comes to my Mind?
I expect you might already subconsciously manage your own thoughts about the world in an orderly way. I do. But I now appreciate my mood is a big controlling factor. If I am happy, my blog reflects that; if sad, melancholy; if cross I want revenge.
I now also appreciate that my feelings at the time also fall within a particular stereotypical role model(s) that I transition through all day long. I am a husband, father, grandfather, friend, teacher, an engineer, a photographer, a confidant. Ah, I almost forgot, I am in individual, me – divorced from all role models!
Add to this Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and I feel there are three level of consideration in any activity I witness and then after a passage of time want to write about. It is perhaps this passage of time that allows organisation and reconciliation of thoughts to take place to balance the contamination and introduce perspective, which then brings in life’s baggage.
So now there are five interactive processes involved in any memory activity before I start to write, which is then dependent on the command of the written language of English I have and the effort I want to expend. It’s a wonder how all this happens: not only for me but anyone.
I could not justify not telling them about both situations … my performance is poor.
I have only told my line manager, a project specific manager and two very good young chaps who report to me about my plight.
As my exploratory operation is on Wednesday, and it could be good or bad I felt they should know.
My involvement with the project has dwindled and in effect I have withered on the vine. I should have challenged a lot more events that have happened, but knew I could not resolve them in a timely manner to keep things on side. Starting a challenge needs to be managed or the vacuum it leaves is more disastrous than not challenging: others feel they have succeeded over you.
I am a stickler for recording things, call it obsessional!
I mentioned to our son that he should write the facts down as he remembers them now, as they fade and get contaminated by other memories
If the children arrive at play school with bruises or cuts questions will be asked.
We know exactly how his ex-partner portrays events and will tell miss-truths to anyone who she needs to tell, and I feel he would be named as the culprit for hurting his children to shift the blame.
I am not sure whether I have written this before but in my opinion she could get an innocent man hung.
It has taken me a time to appreciate how life is and works. It is only now that the bell has rung for me and put me in my place. I am not special; I am nothing. I am just a member of the animal kingdom. The two accidents and the lack of caring for my own wellbeing brought me to this state. The time off I have had has given me so much thinking time that it’s a life changer for me.
You think you and your family are special and then reality kicks in … you’re not special, your family, while precious, are just a part of the animal kingdom who have learned to speak and communicate with others, and horrible just take with no regard to other animals we live along side.
This communication stuff, between humans, has actually caused the whole of mankind more problems than we need. For many thousands of years’ animals and sea creatures have lived side by side and just eat each other where required with no malice and no wars. Some are vegetarians, some are meat eaters and each species has developed so as to balance the natural use of the environment.
This was all well and good right through pre-history and until us humans managed to utter a few sounds with regularity and others associated a fixed meaning with them. This, I suspect, used in conjunction with body language meant patterns of exchange between humans could be repeated with predictable results; much like hunting animals when operating in packs.
We then discovered deceit. Yes, say one thing and mean something else. That means we can lie to others and get what we want without fair exchange. We can justify that with the good old moral feeling that we are correct and got what we wanted and we don’t have to feel guilty – it was our right to be able to do it.
Through periods of history science has allowed us to understand far more about our environment and once writing was created we could record it for posterity. Good, yes and on the whole admirable as otherwise I would not be typing this and making it possible for people the other side of the world potentially to see it within moments of being published.