At first I just pushed through and ignored my feelings. Work was different not only because of the new sensations I was experiencing but due to the nature of the new work we were doing.
Often conversation would take place within earshot about things I was directly involved with and I would seethe while managers managed not resolve issues in an appropriate fashion: all they did was to push the problem onto someone else or even worse simply change the problem into something else.
It was easy to get answers but became very difficult to get a straight answer and after a time it became evident that answers I was given were not correct but no one had bothered to tell me. The impact of the changes were often not thought through so frustration coupled with distrust flavoured my attitude.
I accept much of what I was doing was new to me but the structures and processes I developed adequately allowed the project to be undertaken efficiently. However, having the goal posts moved behind my back meant they did not. Annoyingly I was often not party to the discussion, and really kept in the dark. This could only be by design. More frustration.
A good move was made by the organisation by getting the resource levels increased – late but good. This allowed more work to be undertaken. However and a big however the working process in a modern design office were not understood. This coupled with the acceptance that the base information we had been given and forced to work with was in fact not as good as those making the original plans had thought.
For the record: say an A1 paper based drawning can only be worked on by one person at a time. Information may have to be drawn and redrawn as the design process evolves. This process stop being viable 30 years ago and finally stopped at least 20 years ago. In the 3D model world the model is worked and worked and an A1 drawing is a product of many people working concurrently. So when I was told to organise people to work in the paper based drawing style, and not listened to when I tried to find the rationale behind the instruction caused me anguish beyond anything I had experienced before. It was idiocy!